work rant haiku

once again, conflict.
intruding into the peace.
i signed on for this?

---

will i be recalled,
as the father never there?
more time at home, please.

---

working for weekend.
once again it seems to me,
balance eludes me.

-nn

taste of the thread in my head

this is a sample of what is draining the "juice" out of my head.

All applications will undergo a rigorous battery of tests directed to ensure an appropriate functioning application will be delivered to the customer, regardless if the customer is internal or external. Testing will be guided by a series of functional documents, which can vary from SOW, Project Requirements Document (PRD), or Functional Specification.

Time permitting, Quality Assurance (QA) will submit proposed tests in the form of a Master Test Plan for approval by the Project Manager, Lead Developer, and QA Manager in the form of a draft. Shortcomings will be noted and incorporated for final review to the same approving body. The initial version number will be displayed as "0.1". Once all changes have been documented and accepted, the version number of the testplan will reflect approval by changing the version number to “1.0” (per companyName Document Approval process). Follow on changes which detail changes accepted after accepting the completed version will be denoted by changing the version number to “1.1” and so on.

Once the testplan has been accepted the Lead QA engineer will begin crafting individual testcases reflecting the test points outlined in the Master Test Plan.

and so on and so on....

-nn

Unbalanced

Posts have been spotty due to a thing at work called an ISO per-assessment audit. In a nutshell, this is the an inspection of what your company does (or more like, does not) complies with an internationally recognized standard. It is something to comply with when conducting business internationally.

There are several points to comply with for my department alone. Take into account I am also responsible for several additional points crossing disparate departments and it is easy to see why I have a lack of creative juice with which to commit to my blogging.

Do you have any idea how creativity gets crushed when one is forced to create a development acceptance procedure?

You want to talk about fun?

yee-frickin'-haw....

-nn

Parental paradox

Paradox - an apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or situation which defies intuition.

Parents wish a better future for their children. This is even more true (can anything be more true) if we, as parents, have had a troubling upbringing. The desire is to allow them to find enlightenment without the bumped and bruises normally associated with growing up. I, for one, hope the road to adulthood will be less troublesome for my little ones. And this is where the paradox occurs.

The issues I experienced while traveling to adulthood, are the same ones that brought me to enlightenment. Without them, I would not be the parent trying to ease the approach for the kids. So my desire to soften their journey (to protect them) may actually prolong their journey rather than deliver them promptly and safely.

So the question is: am I really protecting them?

disappointed or not

I have been losing a significant amount of weight over the last two years. Well, if you consider 22% of your total body weight a significant amount. I like to relate the amount by percentage rather than pounds because I think people (me being one of them) put too much emphasis on the number of pounds than the actual totality of the effort. It seems people's perspective shift when you take the importance off the number of pounds and refer to percentage of body weight.

What do I mean by that?

Consider a two hundred pound person losing ten percent of their body weight. Total weight loss = 20 lb.s . People hear this and only focus on the number. You mention you have lost 10% and the visual in your head is like "Holy smokes! That is a complete tenth of this person!".

Having recently hit a long-lived and unforgiving plateau in my efforts has led me to do what was thought of as folly in the past. I joined a gym. The last thing I wanted was to spend an hour of any time sweating and grunting in the unwelcome company of others who treat the sweatorium
as the equivalent of a social hall and bingo parlor. All prepping for the oncoming weekly work outs by laying out what they will wear on the Sunday prior, arranging their pilates class schedules to make sure they attend the same ones as the rest of their friends.

What was it actually like? Well, first of all, all the major clubs seem to pitch a "free two week pass" type of affair (which I have taken full advantage of) which will leave you exposed to a hard sell from the club "representative". The gentleman who was pitching the offer was not well suited to his work: he did not take time to show me any of the equipment or the facilities (although he pointed and alluded to "amenities" and he did not sound like he knew much about working out. I would find it safe to say he was not interested in any more than being on the receiving end of a "walk-over" contract, which requires zero interaction, only the luck to be standing in the right place at the right time.

I have worked out five times so far and have yet to encounter a clatch of yammering, you-should-try-this-class types, espousing helpful sound bites while you strain to lift some paltry amount of weight three inches into the air. If anything, most everyone keeps very much to themselves unless you happen to be waiting for the same equipment (which has only happened once, so far). It has been so completely uneventful, it would be considered boring. I am compelled to mention that my schedule only allows me to work out between 11am to 12:30pm which seems to be unpopular with the masses, as the place is near empty throughout my entire stay.

I am unsure if I am disappointed or not...

-nn

like a foreign film without subtitles

There are times when I feel like the life I lead is not quite mine. I understand it is mine, but the the totality of understanding of what is happening is just a touch beyond the capability of my understanding. As if I spend more time trying to understand events and purpose than actually living my life.

geek fun

This post is most definitely not for everyone. However, if you have ever considering playing god, messing about with evolution, or creating you very own life form (and let's face it, we all have, haven't we?). Then this is for you.

You can create a "creature" from a set of body styles and feeding characteristics and set it loose in a virtual environment (carnivorous for me please). There appears to be a lot of things that can happen: your creature could encounter another and a life struggle would ensue. Of course, the outcome would depend on the physical traits you have endowed your animal. The system emails you with how your foundling is getting along.

For the next version, I would hope they would add a "follow" camera, allowing one to see one's creation in action. Not all the time, perhaps limited to encounters or feeding (mating?) events.

Will I become reluctant to check my email for fear of receiving the dreaded "You creature has been eaten" email?

You can thank Stumble Upon for this contribution.

-nn

People of potential

I loves me the l'il children.
Invariably there is always a little slice of time in which I can find myself thinking; "Are you sure these are your kids?" Oh, I know what you are thinking, "That guy must hate these kids". Truth be told, I love the potential and promise my children (nay, ALL children) exhibit. Children are a constant reminder to retain an optimistic perspective. They are a renewing source of hope and imagination.
Most adults I know have learned the characteristic of cynicism, which limits not only their potential but vision of possibility. At what point in time of our lives do we decide our "adult" appearance is more important than a broad perspective?

-nn

The selfish commute

Every work day, we are face with the typical routine. We can alter our get-ready routine: something different for breakfast, maybe brush our teeth after the shower, instead of before (dangerous living, that last bit). But once we get out of our house, we are forced into a proud tradition reserved for all of us living in an urban environment. The get-your-butt to work commute.

We are all conditioned to just accept this event as part of working. Sometimes we hear about it from our parents when we are children. It is possibly described as something traumatic; "Don't talk to your father right now, he's had a terrible commute home and a bit out of sorts". Comments like this always led me to believe a horrid commute is one of those horrible-yet-accepted facets of adult life. Like gaining weight or graying (or worse yet, receding) hair.

There are alternatives. There are some people who realize time spent in a vehicle is not a thing to be wasted, but can use the "downtime" to add extra hours of productivity to the day. You notice them all the time, chatting on a cell phone catching up with people in another timezone or applying make-up. Some of the more daring will actually leaf through a book or the daily paper. Finally, there are the high-adventure types who will tap out verses on their fully deployed, precariously balanced laptop in the passenger seat. It is very easy to spot them, as their cars are normally swaying within the confines of the lane they are occupying.

There is yet another set of individuals who seek an even more thoughtful use of the time normally used commuting. Not satisfied with performing feats of time-slicing on four wheels, this group has a completely different approach to making the required commute bearable. This group makes the commute shorter, saves fuel, and has a lower impact on streets and traffic. I speak of the highly misunderstood motorcycle rider.
California is the only state in which a motorcycle rider can "share" lanes. This allows anyone on a motorcycle to use the space between lanes of traffic, so long as the rider is exhibiting "safe & practical" behavior. The law is purposely left open to interpretation should a peace office deem your handling of the bike unsafe. In the seventy-three thousand miles logged on my current bike I have yet to receive a citation for unsafe behavior. Admittedly, I always tone down my speed a shade whenever I spy a patrol cruiser.

How about you? Would you like to get to your destination in about half the time it takes when traveling by car? Could you find a better use for the time saved by shaving off hours (literally) every week?

Sure, there are drawbacks: people who style their hair would need to have those sculpting gels and combs at work (I wear my hair short, so who cares), and id you are one to bring a lunch, you may have to get a backpack or saddlebags to ferry it to work. For me, knowing I can get home (and to work for that matter) on half the time make up for a bits of inconvenience encountered. All the while keeping an eye out for the person tapping out an email instead of paying attention to how well they keep the car in the lane.

Think about it.

Falling in love (again)

There are so many reasons to love the internet. This is just another.

I have a thing for pictures of all kinds. Landscapes, lightscapes, curious animals of every sort. But I find people's faces the most interesting. There is so much to be read from the face; promise, disappointment, potential, love, disappointment, the list is as endless as the variety of human emotion.

Having been around the internet since the boom has allowed me to witness the rise of dozens of photography sites that inspire and capture the spectrum of the humans and their endeavors. This site, with its singular focus on portraits, exceeds my ability to describe its contents.

I have been using the "refresh" feature which serves up a random mix of portraits each time. Maybe for a writing exercise I should write stories about the people I spy in the site?

Damn it, I hate it when I assign myself work....

-nn

my new best friend

There are two of them actually. The first of which led me to the second.

Let's talk about "Stumble Upon". SU installs a clever little tool bar into you browser (most majors are supported). You complete a little profile information and click on the "Stumble!" button and you are presented with a site that may or may not match your preferences. As you are presented with more sites you can narrow the focus of you profile by using the "I Like It!" button (indicated by a thumbs up). Alternatively, you can "vote down" a site by clicking the thumbs down button.
You can also elect to view nothing but sites of a particular category. Clicking the photo button then "stumble" will only present sites with photos on them. This has been the single best presenter of new internet sites I have found. Better then Digg, as the sites and stories appearing on the list are mostly things already in the view of mass media (with a few exceptions).

My newest love is most definitely WeFeelFine. A little heavy on the visuals (a downer for those with slow connections) WFF collects information culled from blogs based on the the words or descriptions following the phrase "I feel..." or "I am feeling...". WFF then sorts it all out into one of six interfaces that allows to further distilling of the text. I found the interface and the implications simply brilliant.

Give it a whirl.

-nn

bling. blang. blong.

Everything was just fine this morning. I was buzzing into work in the "fast" lane. There was a not-too-annoying song in my head and this post was forming up.
I settled into the morning routine, thinking I would outline the post. I logged on, pulled open the window and:

POOF!

Like it never happened.

Now I sit here feeling old and forgetful, frustrated beyond belief.

Sometimes I feel like I am living two completely separate lives and they are both strangers.

-nn

Writing about compassion

I have been trying to pen my thoughts on compassion. Unfortunately, I am without a singular thread. I think scattershot would be the appropriate word, if it is a word at all. Muddle-headed also jumps to mind.
I found this blurb that seems to some it up nicely:

"When you give a shilling to a beggar - do you realize that you are giving it to yourself? When you help a lame dog over a stile - do you realize that you yourself are being helped? When you kick a man when he is down - do you realize that you are kicking yourself? Give him another kick - if you deserve it!"
- Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei

-nn

There comes a time....

... in every young man's mind when all his thoughts turn to spring and all the promise of a young and budding future. Unfortunately for me, that time was a while back. Being on the cusp of 43 (gasp!) hardly makes me a candidate for anything considered youthful. Still, in my heart of hearts, I am a horribly confused mid-twenty guy searching for something.

The something takes on many forms: a reasonable balance of life and work, utter and uncontrollable joy (something we ALL should spend more time seeking out), and finally, a decaf coffee just as tasty as the real thing (I can dream, can't I?).

The search which led me to more youthful activities like working out. Little piece of advice for those still young enough to enjoy the latest pap served on MTV; learn a life of physical activity. Achieve this habit while you are young. It will serve you well.

You can thank me later.

I know you will.

-nn