Sunday, February 25, 2007

As much meaning as you want

We have a friend staying with me for a few days. She is living up north and needed a place to stay while taking care of some local business. Her personal issues are so numerous and severe, it pains me to even list them. The toppers are: talking to the now sixteen year old son after a three year absence, philandering first husband, ex-con druggie alcoholic boyfriend that disappears every few days, recovering from a stroke, trying to establish social security benefits due to loss of trade (manicurist) from loss of sensation in right hand (dominant), untreated, bi-polar mother (with whom she lives up north).
So here is where my brain is at: I desperately want to help her out of this incredibly desperate situation. I believe everyone should be given the opportunity to mature and thrive. And quite frankly, I think she has hit the very bottom of where ever she is at. But I find myself questioning my motives. Am I lending aid out of the most generous portion of my heart or just to prop up my own flagging self-worth?

After a good night's sleep, things are much clearer now.

Intentions are invisible. The motives are only those I give them. If I were to casually mention these things to others with the intention of leading them into a conversation regarding what a great guy I am, then my motives are impure. This is simpler than I thought.

As everything turns out to be.

-nn

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